A very dear friend and I were talking the other day about dealing with pregnancy announcements. In a normal situation when someone announces they are pregnant, everyone showers them with excitement and congratulations! Unfortunately for those that struggle with infertility, hearing these announcements can be heartbreaking. Not because you aren’t happy for them or wish them the same kind of pain, but because it’s hard to see someone be blessed with something you want so badly but feels so far away. During my struggle with infertility, I can’t tell you how many times I pushed people away because the pain was too much. I didn’t attend baby showers for fear of breaking down in front of everyone and rarely held an infant. The question of “Why me?” circled my head almost daily. “What did I do to deserve this and why were they The Lucky Ones?”
One thing I’ve come to learn since having Jase is that maybe I was seeing it wrong all those years. Maybe, just maybe I was one of The Lucky Ones? I truly feel that because of my struggles with infertility, my love for my son is SO much deeper than it would have been had I gotten pregnant long ago. When you’ve reached rock bottom and lost all hope, it allows your heart to open up to the deepest most pure kind of love. From the moment Jase was born to this very moment today, my heart aches with love for him. I know what it was like to be without my little miracle and because of that I never take a moment or a day for granted. The little things don’t upset me and I find myself being truly present in even the smallest of things.
So when you’re having a hard day and feeling down about your situation, remember that it’s because you’re one of The Lucky One’s. One day you too will get to experience this love that I’m talking about and I promise you it’s worth all the pain and years of waiting. I’d do it all over again, over and over for just a moment of this ❤
After doing some thinking, I’ve decided that this is where my blog will end. But that doesn’t mean my support for anyone that comes along the way will (no matter how many years from now that is!). My sole purpose for writing was to share my story in hopes that I could help someone get through the pain that I had once experienced. So if you’re just stumbling upon this blog, please feel free to start from the first entry and don’t hesitate to reach out!
I’ve also decided to start a separate blog documenting my journey through mommyhood and living a healthy lifestyle. If you’d like to follow along, you can find me at Finding Pure Hapiness 🙂
Much love~xoxo P